Home sweet home

Bae Area Return

I’m thankful to be back home. I got back last week, but unfortunately, I came back with a bad cold that threw off my balance. Luckily, I am doing much better now, but I was quickly reminded that my immune system is not at 100% and that I have to be careful as I prepare for the next phase of my treatment. It will be really important for me not to be around people that are (or potentially) sick, as I will have a hard time fighting off any disease I come into contact with. 

Continuous Learning

I don't know if this a quote, but it spoke to me.

Sitting at the proton center waiting room, you see a lot of people from all walks of life, and you wonder what their stories are. How could I feel bad for myself when I see a hairless 3-year-old boy undergoing the same treatment? I remember seeing exhaustion and fear on his parents faces that could be read from a mile away. For me, I think one of the most important lessons has been that time is finite, and at the end of the day, we are all mortal. A friend of mine recently posted a quote on Facebook. Usually, I am not a fan of the random, unattributed quotes, but this one stopped me in my tracks because it spoke to me in a way that only my “today self” would understand. While hearing my diagnosis was difficult, I have tried not to feel sorry for myself because I know that will distract my focus. Instead, I am trying to keep my eyes, ears and awareness open to learning a bit more about life. 

The other day I read an article about Top Chef contestant Fatima Ali, who was diagnosed with cancer shortly after the show. While she was in remission for a short period time, she later found out she had a year to live. I’m mesmerized by her bravery and outlook. While, hopefully, most of us are not dying anytime soon, I think she had some important messages that we can all learn from:

• Spoil yourself— “When we think we have all the time in the world to live, we forget to indulge in the experiences of living. When that choice is yanked away from us, that’s when we scramble to feel.” why not enjoy the fruits of our labor? Get the first or business class upgrade! Enjoy an extra glass of bubbles.
• Take risks—“I was looking forward to being 30, flirty, and thriving. Guess I have to step it up on the flirting. I have no time to lose.” At times we are too afraid to be courageous because most of us fear rejection, but when we don’t try, we impose the rejection on ourselves.
• Make time for yourself and those you love—“I am desperate to overload my senses in the coming months, making reservations at the world’s best restaurants, reaching out to past lovers and friends, and smothering my family, giving them the time that I so selfishly guarded before.” 
• Seize the day—“every day is an opportunity for me to experience something new. I used to dream of owning my own restaurant. Now I have an ever growing list of the ones I need to visit.” It is easy to fall into the routine between lots of doctor’s appointments, so I was reminded that it is important to proactively make new memories. There were a number of dates, trips and events that I had to cancel over the last few month, and now, to the extent possible, I am trying to plan new things to ensure I get out and continue to experience life.

THANK-FULL

Let me begin by thanking my “twin” sister for all her help and caretaking, I couldn’t have done it without you sis! Words cannot begin to describe the deep appreciation I have for her, her immediate family, and co-workers for ensuring I had the best helper in the Seattle metropolitan area by my side. I jokingly call her my twin because she was so involved she started to feel the same things I would feel. I attributed it more to being like the 1990s “single white female” movie, but it sounds cuter to say twin. Rosy, you truly are the best sister in the world—THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU.

I also wanted to give a shout-out to Bobbie for flying up to Seattle to help pack the SUV and escort me home.  Your friendship means so much to me. 

Last, but not least, a HUGE thank you to Eric and Kim for driving my car back home again. Even if I was healthy, I think I would have a hard time making that trek, so thank you both for taking one for the team (again).

I am also just thankful to all of my family and friends that have reached out. I'm truly one of the luckiest people to have such a great network of people that care about me.

Staying Healthy at Home

As I mentioned earlier, I have been trying to take it easy since being back home. I spent a few days fighting off my cold, and now have to protect myself from being exposed to other diseases. I hope to see a bunch of you in the coming weeks, but I do ask that if you are sick or are potentially sick, that we hold off until you have a clear bill of health :) From now through the end of my chemo treatments I will have to be extra careful as my immune system will be compromised. Of course, you are always welcome to shoot me a text too, and I will get back to you as soon as I can. 

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Hugs,

CD