Time is on my side…
A second.
”You will feel a quick pinch, take a deep breath. OK, Done.”
A minute.
“Close your eyes and try to balance as long as you can.”
An hour.
“Only an hour left in the machine, hang in there.”
A day.
“Watch out for fevers until tomorrow and let us know how you are doing.”
A week.
“I’ll see you next week for your blood draw sweetie.”
A month.
“We will see you next month for your check-up.”
A year.
“Congratulations, you’re almost there.”
It has been almost a year to the day that this
journey began. Every unit of time has a new meaning for me. From the second it
takes for a nurse to draw blood to a year of constant challenges. The shortest,
yet longest year of my life. Time, I respect you so much more now, and I know
you are have the power to heal me, but I need not take you for granted ever again.
For many years I’ve heard that in life there
are activities you choose to do because they either build up your resume or
your eulogy. Over the years, I have paid close attention to the resume piece,
as I’m still growing professionally. But this past year has taught me that It’s
never too early to think about my eulogy building, or the legacy I
intentionally want to leave behind one day. One of my proudest accomplishments is
being the first in my family to go to college, breaking the glass ceiling that
existed for most of us growing up in Richmond.
For me, this accomplishment showed me that it was possible for a kid
from the hood to not only dream, but to dream in color. As my college family
could attest, our years there were not easy, especially as kids of color. During
our freshmen year our state legislature & voters were determining the fate
of bilingual education and affirmative action. Other students were angry, and
we felt it on campus with murals that celebrated diversity were defaced and our
school newspaper released comics that showed ethnic studies being bombed. Many
times, I was the only non-white, non-Asian student in the class. Despite these
setbacks, I managed to find my community and I quickly relied on their support.
I felt the pressure of my people counting on me not to fail. I also did not
want to fail myself. I stuck with it, and since graduating, I am proud to say
that others chose the same path because they too allowed themselves to dream.
Of course their success is due to their own merit, but if I had anything to do
with them believing they could succeed or I left the door cracked open for
them, I don’t need credit for it, but I feel good that I could pave the way for
our family to have multiple college graduates. This is eulogy building— to kno
w
I’ve inspired someone to know their potential, especially when it is under
tapped. They just need an opportunity to bloom through the cement. So remember
to ask yourself, especially if you are in a place where you are exploring a
change in your life, am I doing this for a paycheck or for a soul check?
 |
| Flower through cement, I see you. |
My biggest update is that I completed my sixth
and final cycle (hopefully). This last cycle came with some setbacks, including
increased loss in hearing. Over the next year, I will have to be extra careful
with my environmental exposure to loud noises. I do not want to celebrate prematurely, as I still
have to complete two MRIs in August before I can be declared in remission. That
said, I still want to recognize this milestone in my treatment. Joined with my
mom and sister, on July 2nd, I sat through my last chemo treatment. Thank
you so much to the person upstairs for letting me experience the feeling of
beating cancer. While I hope to
never have to do it again, I know today I am
stronger and wiser than I was a year ago, and I know I would do it all over
again so that I can age side by side with my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews,
friends and family.
 |
| Facts. |
To those that came before me, thank you for
being courageous, for trying new and scary drugs to improve how we treat
cancer. Some of you made the ultimate sacrifice with your fight, so that I
could have a fighting change, so thank you for being leaders and angels along
my path. To fellow survivors, thank you for serving as role models and inspiring
me to know that I am enough.
For those of you that are starting or
continuing your fight, keep going, you can do it. I believe we can all win. A
lesson for me has been to love those around me relentlessly. Also, don’t be afraid
to ask for help. In fact, I think a lot of our loved ones feel good about being
able to contribute to your fight. To the surgeons, doctors, nurses, techs and other
staff that helped me, and others everyday, I thank you for your service. I
cannot imagine the roller coaster of emotions you must deal with on a daily
basis, as you to try to improve the length and quality of life for people
living with cancer. Also, a special shout out to my therapist, who has helped
me process this journey and has seen me ugly cry more times than I would like
to admit. Thank you for helping me realize that our mind, bodies and soul each deserve
parity as we take care of ourselves.
To my supporters, thank you for being on this
journey and not giving up on me. Your words of encouragement, yummy food,
company and special gifts carried me through the darkest period of my life. As
we come up with my aftercare plan, I do hope to be resource for others. Since
my last update, a couple of friends have reached out to share unexpected
diagnoses. I try to be transparent with my experience, and share any and all
resources that I have available.
Love yourself and listen to your body
My body is transformed at this point, and I
hope to lead a healthier lifestyle moving forward. Here is a video that outlines signs to look out for when conducting a
self-administered breast exam. Know your tatas, early detection could save your
life. For the guys, there are resources for knowing your body, and why it is important. Lastly, for everyone,
if something doesn’t feel right, go get checked. Had I not walked into the
emergency room last year looking for migraine medication, I don’t know what
news I'd be sharing today. Please listen to your body and make time to care for yourselves.
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